hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
