Redeem this text for a blowjob
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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