my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
