i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize