Nicole vs. Life
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
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I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
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I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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