I must be too annoying 4 u.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
