id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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