We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
