operation harelip BJ is a go
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
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