so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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