I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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