He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
