Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I have tasted many bathrooms
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
