eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
