I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize