i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
