I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
