shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
