thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
