i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
they need to just BURY HIM!
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
