Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
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Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
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I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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