none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
