my soul wont recognize me after tonight
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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