The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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