ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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