Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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