Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
