are you still at the devil's house?
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
