So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
