hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize