before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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