i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Randomize
