oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
what day is it and did you see me today?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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