hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
