the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
