You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
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