They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
It's never too late to be topless.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
