im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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