Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
