Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
