Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
