First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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