Pregnant stripper...not hot.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
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she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
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Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.