My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
