The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.