I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony