rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing