I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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