just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...