so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
