I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
So apparently I’m into choking now
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
