Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
