Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
