I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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