dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
