So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
