While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
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I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
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We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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