apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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