Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
