Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
