My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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