I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize