Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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