How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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