Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
