I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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