and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
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