i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
