whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
